beautiful how it all pours out after dark, after light

IMG_9938Sweatshirt: Brandy Melville | Pants: Brandy Melville | Booties: Jeffrey Campbell IMG_0029IMG_0114IMG_0054IMG_0081

I’M BACK!! Wow, it’s been ages since I’ve properly sat down and written a blog post. Not gonna lie, for a few weeks there I lost all motivation. I felt like I was in the biggest slump. I didn’t want to leave my house because it was (and still is) snowing and freezing cold out. All I wanted to do was curl up with my flannel sheets in bed and binge Netflix shows all day everyday. The only time I really left my house was when I had to go to class, but other than that, straight to bed I went.

This week’s outfit is honestly nothing special but it’s realistically what I’ve been wearing these last several weeks. I can’t be bothered in this weather to try and dress nice, so my go-to is an oversized sweatshirt. I’ve collected so many over the last little while, especially while thrifting because worn in ones are the best! They’re just comfy and cozy and that’s all that’s on my mind these days. As for the pants, these are my favorite FUN pants from Brandy. They’re so stretchy and comfy that they feel like you’re wearing leggings but they’re actually so stylish. And my current favourite platform booties! These are so comfy and give me so much added height. Love them.

Besides the horrible cold weather getting me down, another big reason why I didn’t want to shoot any pictures for my blog or Instagram was because my skin had been breaking out like crazy! I’ve always had acne prone skin and it’s always been an insecurity of mine, and anyone who knew me in high school can tell you how bad it was for me back then. My acne was all over my forehead, but with a little help from my family doctor who got me on prescribed topical creams, it went away soon after. Since then, my skin has been decent with a few small break outs here and there, especially around that time of the month.

Then this winter starting around December, my skin started to get worse. When I was in the UK, I broke out in a huge cluster of zits on the left side of my chin area. It went away for a bit, but about a week or so into the new year, it started all over again. Only this time it was way worse – clusters of zits all over my chin this time. It was literally everywhere, and these were painful, deep, cystic zits that literally lasted for 2-3 weeks. Every day I was waking up with another huge cystic pimple forming along my chin and jawline area.  My skin hadn’t been this bad in years and it really got to me. It got to the point that I because so self-conscious because I could tell that when talking to people, instead of making eye contact with me, they were staring at my pimples. Every time I passed by a mirror, I would stare profusely at my face to examine my active zits and see if there were more forming. At night, I was so anxious that I couldn’t sleep for hours because I would be lying in bed thinking about my acne, and worried that I would wake up the next day with yet another huge zit.  As you can probably tell, my self esteem really took a hit and hence the reason I didn’t want to leave my house, let alone be in front of the camera.

I ended up going to the doctors to get something to help clear my skin, and they prescribed me a clindamycin/benzoyl peroxide topical cream that used to worked for me before. It’s only been about 2-3 weeks that my skin has gotten better, and it’s definitely still far from perfect. I am still getting a few breakouts here and there, but they’re definitely a lot smaller and less noticeable than they were before. With my skin history, I’ve come to peace with the fact that I will never have perfect skin, and am trying so hard every day to love myself despite my imperfections. I’ve decided that I can’t let my skin dictate what I should and could do in my life, so here we are with a brand new blog post.

There are definitely still days where my anxiety over my skin is worse than others. But to take my mind off of it, I’ve been keeping myself busy with school and my Etsy shop. I’ve just listed a ton of new items which you guys can shop HERE!

Something else that’s really been helping? Music of course! An album in particular that has really been helping to lift my spirits is Maggie Rogers’ debut album “Heard it in a Past Life”. This album has only been out for just over a month, and I already know that it’s going to be one of my favourite albums of 2019. The album is about Maggie’s musical journey to date. With her rapid and huge success, the album is both a beginning to what’s yet to come for her, but also an ending to what her life was before all of this. Like the rest of us, she was just a regular college girl living in NYC who had crushes and nights out with her friends.

I’ve been obsessed with every song on her album (I know I say this a lot, but I truly mean it – there’s not one song on here that I would even skip). It was so hard for me to pick a song this week to feature, but I figured that since I’ve been into music that is really lifting up my spirits, her song The Knife would be a good fit. This song is a straight up fun, dance pop song. As Maggie describes it herself, The Knife is about “dancing it all off with your friends”. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve danced to this song, whether it be alone in my room with my Maggie vinyl, while I’m listening to it on Spotify while working, or driving in my car. This song is so fun, and I’m definitely feeling better already.

Let me know your suggestions for songs that uplift you when you’re feeling down. And if you’ve struggled with acne yourself, let me know what products have worked for you! I would love to know.

 

4 thoughts on “beautiful how it all pours out after dark, after light

  1. I totally know what you mean with that acne! I don’t get much on my face, but I constantly have fully red, and bumpy arms. I’ve had it since I was young and people would always make fun of it. Learning to love every part of you is such a good step! I find that drinking lemon water helps a lot! Celery juice too if you want to give it a go! I love your posts because I always find out new music and artists 😍 listening to falling water right now!
    Rachel,
    Xoxo
    http://itsrachelcatherine.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the tips girl!! I definitely need to get on the celery juice train, and I love lemon water already but I need to be better at incorporating it into my daily routine.
      It makes me so happy that you find new music through my posts! I love sharing all these talented artists with people 🙂

      Like

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